Epilogue: Raising a Son

To my dear Grant aka Granto,

When you were a little rambunctious, rough-and-tumble boy, I would always laugh and tell people my hope was to get you to eighteen years old and off to college alive.  Well, my wish was granted....here we are.

This blog is dedicated to you, sweetheart.  It's been wonderful to look back and reminisce on your early years. 

The other day I was reflecting on your almost eighteen years of life.  Some of the most memorable moments were when you were little and we'd get ready for bed and play the "five reasons I love you game," watching all of your games from the sidelines with the other team parents, getting phone calls from school, "Hello Mrs. Garrity, Grant is fine but I'd like to speak to you.....," watching you play with your big sister and mimic her every move, how you called her Muh-muh for so long, the "apparatus" Dr. Okmin had to put in your mouth, when you and D-boy got together to play; there are just so many fond memories.


It has been a two-way street with both of us living and learning together.  I have learned so much from you, and hopefully, you have learned from me.  I learned the value of  patience.  The importance of independence with boundaries.  How to be more forgiving.  Though difficult, allowing failure and consequences.  The importance of keeping it short (hard for me to do) and speaking bluntly.  What it truly means to love, unconditionally. 

Your choice for college is perfect.  I know you will thrive in this environment and find your passion and path.  All I ask is that you remain inquisitive and study hard. School always comes first and much fun to follow.  It is important to take good care of your health (stop rolling your eyes).  I know you will continue with athletics-it is a natural outlet for you. Try to eat well and get enough rest.  Remember dad and I are only a phone call, text or short flight/drive away.

Love you always and forever,

Mom




Photo above of mom and Grant before senior prom.









 

A Letter from Dad

Dear Grant,

The moment has arrived after your long journey through adolescence.  You will leave home to attend college. I am very proud of your accomplishments up to this point in time. Although you may feel that your life up to now has been somewhat complex, college life can be intense, challenging but overall a fun experience. Enjoy every day as these are the times to expand your horizons and search for those opportunities that will fulfill your passions and desires to reach your educational goals.

The times we have spent together as a family and those special singular moments hanging out will always be etched upon my mind. Our vacations to Hawaii, Lake Tahoe, Estero Beach, Yosemite, Las Vegas, Big Bear and our cruise to Mexico have all been epic memories for me. Engaging in water and snow skiing, wake boarding, fishing, scuba diving, camping and golfing (especially when you witnessed my hole-in-one)….these were the BEST of times, especially doing it as a family.

 I cherish those times I coached the sports that you had excelled in and my favorite times were watching you play baseball up through your senior year at High Tech High. I hope you keep the passion and desire to play into your college years, even if it is club or intramural play. You have that athletic gift to pick up sports very quickly. That being said, let’s get you out on the fairways more often and play more golf together.

Grant, you are a beautiful and handsome young man. You are very inquisitive, creative, bright, passionate and goal-oriented. Having chosen a tough major is quite impressive and I hope you fulfill your dreams in this field. What teenager works three jobs during the summer months after high school? Now that’s tenacity and understanding the work ethic.

As a parent, you become more emotional, but elated when your child graduates from high school and elevating to the next level of education. I am saddened knowing that the home departure has arrived, but all for good reasons. Your mother and I have tried to guide and develop you in all the right ways when it comes to family values to build character. I hope we have been successful in shaping and influencing you to be a better individual. We feel you have shown and demonstrated these values when we receive positive compliments from friends and neighbors.

I feel you will do very well in life and your college years are a stepping stone to what is ahead of you and what can be accomplished. I realize that you will be taking on more responsibilities and making more choices and decisions so I recommend to follow your intuition and your heart to guide you. Your mother and I will always be there for you when needed.

Study hard and set good examples, be happy at what you do, but most importantly have fun and make good friends as they will be your support system while in school. As I would always say when I  dropped you and your sister off at school…. "Be a leader, not a follower”. Now, “Go clean your room!"

I wish you the best of luck and I will always love you!

Dad

Photo above of dad and baby Grant in Lake Tahoe

Good Luck Brother

 Dear Grant,

            You finally made it through high school, now get ready to live a life without chores, nagging, or work, so be excited. I remember all those times I dressed you up in dresses, broke your thumb, and played Hot Wheels with you around our whole house.  I also remember how we sometimes misbehaved on purpose with our babysitters. Even though we still argue a lot I think we’ll be closer now that we are both in college. I’ll have to visit you and you’ll have to visit me (because I know we have different spring breaks).  I hope your roommate isn’t weird but I know for a fact you will have so much fun and your life will change when you move away. I’m sure you’ll do well your first year because I know you’re smart and will make good decisions. You better Skype me.

Love you,

-Samantha aka Muh-Muh

Photo above of sister and brother

Exit Interview to Life

All seniors at High Tech must speak of their school experience, both good and bad, in the exit interview.  Acknowledging your faults and weaknesses is not easy for an adult; never mind a teenager.  As I sat in the classroom and watched my son complete his high school exit interview, I saw a mature and articulate young man before me.

The senior exit interview gives students a chance to acknowledge their struggles during high school and express their growth as a person and student.  It also allows verbalization of their goals at this next junction in life.  A panel is present of teachers, peers and parents.  Required dress code-professional.  Quite intimidating.

According to Grant, the purpose of school is "To teach you life lessons and educational lessons as well as lead you to further education.  Also, to help you find what you want to do with your life."  He reflected on his beloved second grade teacher, his strict, no-nonsense fifth grade teacher and his high school teachers.  I loved the reference to his current math teacher's life lessons taught via  50 Life Secrets. "I am now more open-minded and understanding" explained Grant.

I have renewed faith in the young adults of High Tech and the graduating class of 2011.  Their lofty goals and dreams are admirable and much needed in the world today.

Motherhood

In honor of my mother and now that I "get it"-- the following is the absolute truth.......

You're Really a Mom When……

    •    You count the number of sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they are equal.

    •    You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favorite toy and made him cry.

    •    You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

    •    You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

    •    Your child throws up and you catch it.

    •    Someone else's kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.

    •    You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.

    •    You mastered the art of placing food on a plate without anything touching.

    •    Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office and you do it.

    •    You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.

    •    You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then you obsess when he skips in without looking back.

    •    You can't bear to give away baby clothes--it's so final.

    •    You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes."

    •    You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

    •    You read that the average-five-year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is "above average."

Photo above at Early Exploration's preschool graduation




 

One World Week: Italy

One of the coolest opportunities at High Tech is their One World Week.  Each year over spring break, students and teachers depart to destinations worldwide for a cultural immersion.  This immersion opens the kids' eyes to the world at large.  Students have been to Belize, India, Panama, Egypt, Costa Rica, Thailand and many other far away places.  It is a once in a lifetime experience and Grant waited until his senior year for his trip to Italy.  Ahhh Italy.....my favorite country in the world where the people are warm and beautiful, the culture is bountiful and the scenery is exquisite.  The food is pretty incredible, too.  I give great kudos to Grant's teachers/chaperones, Margaret and Dominic, who took twenty-five children to Italy and returned them all safely.

A note from Margaret (12th grade Digital Arts and Sound Production teacher):

Grant,

In Italy you were a leader and voice of reason. You had your eyes wide and looked deeply at your surroundings and the cultural sites of Italy. There were many fun moments and it was great to have you on the trip! I wish you the very best on your future endeavors! Congratulations!!!

Sincerely,

Margaret

Photo above taken by Grant of his favorite city, Venice 
 

The Value of Work

The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.
-Vince Lombardi

I recall my first job at age sixteen.  It was Gazebo's Yogurt Shop and I remember feeling so mature and responsible.  It was fun when friends came into the shop to visit and get some frozen yogurt.  The spending money was also a nice perk. 

Grant followed in my footsteps and although it was at one of the fast food establishments I most despise (from a dietitian's perspective), nonetheless, he has been working at this job since the age of sixteen.  I am very proud of his demonstrated responsibility to his employer given school and sport commitments.  Fortunately, they have always been flexible with his schedule.

As a parent, I have always viewed youth employment as a tool to teach financial competency as well as social education.   Working in a customer service driven job at minimum wage certainly is a stepping stone to learn the value of money, hard work and people skills.  A good article in the NY Times addressed similar issues.

It was great to hear friends and acquaintances around town say, "Betty, I saw Grant at the drive-through and he was so polite and seems so mature."  Yes!  The value of work.