The Craziest Sport Ever

I always knew my son was a tough cookie.  I did not, however, realize there was a sport that would cut me to the core with fear and anxiety.  The sport is rugby.

When I was informed my son wanted to play rugby, initially I thought it was cool and a new experience for an athletic kid.  That was, until I watched my first game.  It was a mother's worst nightmare and I panicked.  I honestly thought my son would be broken in half (or at least a broken something).

Grant's best friend's mom and my dear friend is a Kiwi.  Rugby is as popular in New Zealand as the NFL is in the U.S.  In fact, rugby is a worldwide culture of its own.   I was assured there were fewer injuries playing rugby compared to football.  How could that be?  There is no protective gear and kids are tackled and thrown to the ground!  Rugby became a part of our life when the San Diego Young Aztecs club team called.  And Grant LOVED it.


The biggest thrill was coming in third place at the Southern California championships.   The competition was fierce and it appeared the winning team had pulled the roughest street kids from L.A. and turned them into fantastic rugby players.  There was only one child removed by ambulance at the tournament.  Ugh!


YouTube video above of rugby well played by the U16 Young Aztec team.

Hoping for the Best

When my son reads this blog in June I hope he comes away with the message--I tried my best.  I really did.  It was very easy to judge other parents BK (before kids) and I often would say, "When I have kids I will NEVER do that!!!" Or even better, "My parents did x,y, or z and I swear I'll never do that!"  I have since learned never say never.

People say parenting is the toughest job you'll ever do.  They are correct.  It is the toughest but, undoubtedly, also the most rewarding.  I just hope I didn't screw it up too bad in raising a son.

Sharing stories with other parents always made me feel better.  I am not alone in the craziness.  If I lost it and spanked my toddler, others will empathize (assuming they are not in the anti-spanking group).  If my child had a major meltdown in the grocery store and EVERYONE turned to stare, others will empathize.  If my child hit, kicked and bit me at the park when I said it was time to leave, others will empathize.  The best consolation came when the "Super Nanny" television show aired.  After watching that show, I knew I wasn't doing so bad.

My ultimate wish is that I did good enough to create a loving and responsible son who will be a happy and productive member of society.

An Alternative Education

What does a parent do when their child needs an alternative to traditional schooling?  This is a daunting question and one I grappled with for quite some time.  There are just some kids who do not fit the mold for a traditional school setting.  These kids like to "think outside the box."

Fortunately, with some luck and good timing the alternative simply appeared.  Thanks to the educational visionaries who were disenchanted with the direction and outcome of traditional schools-- the High Tech charter schools were formed.  The school(s) were designed with four principles:  a) personalization b) adult world connection c) common intellectual mission and d) teacher as designer.

Grant thrived in this setting.  It was project-based learning (no textbooks but learn by doing), the classrooms had 25 students max,   all kids had access to laptops and the newest technology, the teachers were young/fun and on one year contracts (if they were inefficient they were gone).  Watching a bunch of middle and high school kids get excited about their learning was mind-blowing.

From middle school through high school I cannot recount all of the opportunities and benefits reaped via the High Tech schools--there were too many.  One of my favorite experiences was the mandatory 11th grade academic internship.  All of the kids had to secure an adult workplace environment and spend three weeks working full-time, side by side with their mentors.  What an incredible way to gain real world experience.  This was the apex for Grant's real world connection.  


My sincerest and deepest gratitude is extended to the founders and visionaries of the High Tech schools.  Grant loves to learn and will have a bright future.

Photo above of Grant's beloved middle school humanities teacher Mrs. Morton (far left), myself and Grant on one of their many fun field trips.

San Diego Junior Lifeguards

My dilemma of adolescence.  How does a parent of an active child channel that energy and time of summer vacation in a positive way?  The answer came from a tip about the San Diego Junior Lifeguard Program.

Since my kids have always spent a lot of time at the beach, this program was not only character building but potentially life-saving.  Kids would learn to respect the ocean and build skills for survival.  And it all started with an ex-Marine named Captain Vila.  He was as tough as they came but so very valuable in his teachings.  Over the course of two summers, the dedicated lifeguards of San Diego put my son to work.

The Junior Guards not only had to run and swim miles but also had to dive off speeding lifeguard boats, jump directly into rip currents and get themselves out and learn CPR.  The program culminated in a jump off the Ocean Beach Pier.  I received a photo of this event but was thankful not to be there.  How could a mother watch her son stand on the highest point of the pier and jump??!!  Apparently, ALL of the kids' knees were knocking--but they did it.


Thank you and kudos to the San Diego Lifeguards.


Photo above of one of the boat dives

Compassion

The purpose of human life is to serve and to show compassion and the will to help others

-Albert Schweitzer

How does one create a sense of charitable kindness in children?  How can kids appreciate what they have without ever experiencing those that have not?  In today's world I believe it is much more challenging.  It is not, however, impossible.

There is a fantastic organization geared towards mentoring children called Kids Korps.  They are a service organization with a mission to develop leaders via volunteerism.  A child may participate in as many or as few activities as they wish.  These activities open up their "world."


Years ago, the first activity we chose to attend was a collaborative effort to stuff thousands of bags with items used for children  rescued from abusive or neglectful homes--terrible situations.  According to the law enforcement officials present that day, these kids often don't have more than the shirts on their backs when they are rescued and removed from their homes.  A community effort stuffed toiletries, coloring books/crayons, homemade blankets, books, stuffed animals and other essentials.  Grant asked many "but why?" questions that day. It was a quintessential day in teaching compassion to my son.  I could not stop tearing up as I thought about each bag and each child.

Other activities of importance were feeding senior citizens, serving meals to the homeless and planting trees in impoverished neighborhoods





Thanks to the opportunities via Kids Korps my hope is for Grant to maintain a lifelong desire of service to others and compassion for those less fortunate.

Viva Mexico!

There is something exhilarating about crossing the border and heading into Mexico.  Perhaps it is the sense of adventure being in a foreign country.  Once we hit the road in Tijuana with aggressive drivers and what feels like a road-race, we know the adventure has begun.

I was introduced to Mexico (Tijuana) as a child when my dad would take us on expeditions to Caliente racetrack.  He loved bartering with the street vendors on the way back to the border crossing.  I have vivid memories of his threats (jokingly) to turn me in to the border agents/federales as an illegal because I looked Hispanic as a child with dark skin and long braids.

When the kids were small we found a great location to continue the adventures in Mexico.  Estero Beach Mexico is a hidden little gem on the Pacific about thirty minutes south of Ensenada.  This annual trip was something the kids looked forward to during summer break.  Our friends, who also made the trip, felt more at ease with me as the interpreter since I spoke the language.  Always handy to speak Spanish while in Mexico.


For Grant and the other kids, the highlights were going to the local fireworks store and stocking up on every imaginable explosive to set off on the beach--blowing up old tennis shoes or old Seasame Street stuffed animals,  eating at the favorite taco stand (which I refused to do),  throwing "poppers" on the ground and at siblings' feet, hanging out at the swim-up bar for virgin Margaritas, the live band and dancing at the outdoor restaurant, jet-skiing and getting pulled on the banana boat (pictured above), and haggling with the vendors on the beach and in town.


Photo above of Grant (rear), Jamie, Daniel, Yuso, Samantha and Hannah out on their wild banana boat ride in Estero Beach

Stubborn vs. Persistent

I guess the old English proverb "the apple does not fall far from the tree" holds true.  Reflecting back, my dad was quite the stubborn one.  This trait served him well in some aspects of life (though I'm sure it drove others crazy).  He did not give up, overcame many obstacles as a child and, after a long haul, was professionally successful in a difficult field.  This trait was woven into my DNA, and then inherited by my son.

Looking at the definitions of stubborn and persistent--their root appears the same but the interpretation (one positive and one negative) is different.  
Stubborn: unreasonably obstinate; fixed or set in purpose or opinion.
Persistent: persevering; enduring tenacity.

On the one hand, any parent would agree that a stubborn child can be a source of gray hairs.  On the other hand, this child may become a persistent adult and persistence definitely has perks in life.


Even today, I am amazed by my son's persistence (I never liked negative labels on kids).  Pop pop would be smiling were he here.  If it is something of personal importance or value, Grant simply will not give up.  Despite my many well-earned gray hairs, I truly adore this trait and hope it serves him well in life.  

Photo above of my dad aka Pop pop doing what he loved.